Romans 5:8

How to Discipline With a Smile

Transcript

Romans 5:8 but God demonstrates His own love toward us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us here’s an amazing principle God always separates identity from behavior God separates what you do from who you are even when you mess up when you do something horrible God says to you that’s what you did but that’s not who you are as humans many times we connect the two we connect identity with behavior and we hate a person because we hate what they did or on the other hand we accept wrong evil behavior because we want to accept a person God always separates so we accept people and reject what they do we love people but we don’t love everything they do we always separate that’s just critical to understand it says while we were yet sinners while we were yet sinners Jesus the Messiah died for us what does that mean He gave up His life He blessed us can you bless somebody who’s doing wrong the answer is yes you can discipline with a smile if you learn how to separate identity from behavior one woman told me this story she had to learn that with her daughter regarding responsibilities in the family she had a 15yr old daughter everybody in the family had a responsibility or a chore the daughter had a responsibility of taking the trash out before the trash man came on Wednesday morning to take the trash away in the beginning the mother didn’t know how to get her daughter to do that the daughter agreed it was her responsibility but many times woke up late was late for school, forgot the mother ended up having to collect the trash and take the trash out the daughter wasn’t fulfilling her responsibility and the mother would yell at her, scream at her, get angry she wasn’t creating an environment of blessing in her home she was creating an environment of cursing she was releasing the enemy’s atmosphere on her home but she didn’t know how to get her daughter to fulfill the responsibility that the daughter agreed to finally she understood how to separate identity from behavior she realized she hadn’t been doing what God does while we were yet sinners Yeshua died for us what she was doing is taking her daughter’s value and yelling at her daughter being angry every time her daughter did wrong or didn’t take out the trash finally she learned to separate and to do three things to give a command give a teaching and implement a consequence so she told her daughter the consequence of you not taking the trash out will be this you have two choices you can take the trash out before the trash man come on Wednesday morning and the consequence is the trash men will take the trash away and it’s their responsibility it’s gone from our house on the other hand if you don’t take the trash out the trash will remain your responsibility it’s your trash you’ll have to take care of it and the daughter said OK whatever the next Tuesday night, Wednesday morning she forgot to take the trash out mother wasn’t angry she didn’t yell and scream the daughter felt guilty she remembered at school oh I forgot to take the trash out came home expecting her mom to be angry and yell at her mom was pleasant and blessed her the daughter went to her room came back about 20 seconds later and said Mom, Mom all the trash in the house has been gathered up into bags it’s all sitting in the center of my room and the Mom said yes I know she said remember that’s the consequence of you not fulfilling your responsibility of taking the trash out before the trash men came remember I offered you two choices choice one take the trash out and the trash men take it away it’s no longer your responsibility or choice two not take the trash out and the trash men then can’t take it away and it’s your responsibility but Mom it stinks it smells bad what am I going to do with it and the Mom said I don’t know what you’re going to do with it it’s your trash maybe you could call the trash company and if you paid them some they’d come back and collect it you can wait until next Wednesday and they’ll take it away but Mom it’s awful it smells bad the Mom said yes I know that’s why nobody else wants it in their space and it’s your responsibility but honey I want to let you know I love you, you’ve got such an awesome destiny ahead of you you’re so intelligent you’re so gifted I love you so much God bless you have a nice evening she was able to discipline with a smile by separating identity from behavior and not making the daughter feel worthless like she’s a bad person because she didn’t take out trash she simply implemented a consequence that she had pre determined and shared with the daughter in advance this is how we can implement this principle in our family of separating identity from behavior so that we can discipline with a smile not yelling and screaming and taking value away from people but creating an environment of blessing in our own home so in your work context today in your home today is there an area where you fail to separate identity from behavior where you’ve made a person feel worthless because they disobeyed because they didn’t do what you told them to do and you basically fused identity with behavior and said because you didn’t obey because you didn’t do what I wanted you’re a worthless person no, God never treats us that way you know what I suggest if you’ve done that repent to your family members to those you work with ask them to forgive you and make that shift in how you treat people today so that you can separate identity from behavior and bless people honor people even when they do wrong so remember today as you go through your day love God with all your heart bless people around you and you will make a difference

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