Ephesians 5:33

What Fuel Fills the Value Tank of Your Wife?


Ephesians 5:33 nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband I want to talk about marriage today why is it that Paul didn’t just tell them both to love each other and I believe the answer is this because every person has a fuel tank on the inside just like your car has a fuel tank except husbands and wives use totally different fuel just like a car could use gasoline or diesel and if you put the diesel fuel in a gasoline motor you’d destroy it or vice versa so what fuel do husbands use what fuel do wives use I believe Ephesians 5:33 tells us Paul says husband love your wife why is that the reason is love is the fuel that a wife uses what fuel does a husband use respect so respect is the fuel a husbands uses do you know what I realized most people have totally misperceived their assignment in marriage do you know what I thought my assignment in marriage was for many many years I thought my assignment was to explain to my wife when she asks questions why did you come home so late I got 5 reasons why did you spend that money I’ve got 3 reasons you’re a pastor you pray for everybody else when are you going to pray for our family well let me tell you and I thought my assignment was to explain, defend, justify after 7 years God told me that’s not your assignment your job in marriage is not to explain you’ve got one job and Paul told you right here what your job is love your wife that’s your job what does that mean if you’re married your assignment as a husband fill the value tank of your wife with love do you know what I find most wives think their assignment is just as much as husbands think their assignment is to explain, defend and justify most wives think their assignment is to change their husband I will make him a man of God let me tell him all the things he needs to do to really walk with the Lord to really be the priest of this home to really be the husband and father and godly man he should be that’s my assignment is to change him no it’s not that’s not your assignment that’s not what Paul said you have one assignment respect your husband what does that mean? that means fill his value tank with what? with respect fill up the tank with respect that’s our assignment so as a wife your assignment is not to change him someone does have that assignment you know who it is? it’s not the wife it’s the Holy Spirit that’s the job of the Holy Spirit is to change your husband that’s not the job of a wife as a wife, your job is to fill his tank with respect as a husband, your job is to fill the tank of your wife with love once I understood that that radically changed our marriage then my next question is what does love actually mean to a woman because I found out Jan’s understanding of love was real different than mine what does respect actually mean to a man if you’re a wife your husband’s understanding of respect is probably different than yours it isn’t going to help if you look at him and go honey I so respect you that’s not going to fill his tank what does respect mean tomorrow I want to tell you 3 things God showed me that love means to most women and respect means to most men we’re out of time today but today I pray that you’d accept your assignment I pray that you would as a husband not defend, justify, explain as a wife not try to change your husband accept your assignment as a husband love your wife accept your assignment as a wife respect your husband and ask God press into him today how can I fulfill my assignment how can I fill today the value tank of my husband, my wife if you’re and employee at work the same thing goes for your boss do you know what your boss wants fill his tank with respect if you’re a business owner you know what your employees want fill the tank of your employees with value make them feel loved special, valued in your sight so the question is who does God want you to value today how do you fill the tank of your husband, your wife those that you work with today Father I pray you’d empower us to do that, to fill the tank of those around us today in the name of Yeshua Ha Mashiach Amen


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