Matthew 18:15-18

How to Appropriately Confront Sin


Matthew 18:15-18 if your brother sins go and show him his fault in private if he listens to you you have won your brother but if he does not listen to you take one or two more with you so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed if he refuses to listen to them tell it to the church and if he refuses to listen even to the church let him be to you as a gentile and a tax collector truly I say to you whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven today I want to talk about confronting people that have sinned against you everybody I shouldn’t say everybody but most people do not like to confront when people are sinned against people either usually blow up in anger or just sweep it under the rug but most people don’t confront in a healthy and productive way in this passage Yeshua tells us exactly how to do that you go in private first if he listens you’ve won your brother if that doesn’t work take along a witness if that doesn’t work tell it to the broader group or the authority at hand and they will deal with it a wonderful beautiful strategy but how would you confront somebody let’s say that somebody has sinned against you how would you confront them what I suggest is that you’d first consider this if I needed to be confronted if I had sinned or offended or done something to harm somebody and that person needed to come to me in what way would I like them to come how would I want them to come shaking their finger in pride and anger and bitterness of course not how would I want then to come again my friend Ford Taylor does a workshop called Transformational Leadership and in that workshop he outlines 4 qualities that would be good to implement when it’s time to confront somebody I want to just share what those 4 are with you here they are and the question is how would I want somebody to confront me if I needed to be confronted confront the other person in that same way number 1 in humility what that means is come with the attitude I might have mis-perceived this I could be wrong let’s talk about this this is what I see this is the offense or this is the sin but come in humility I could be wrong maybe I’ve seen this wrong the second thing is preforgiveness what does that mean? that means I’m coming having already dealt with any bitterness in my heart against you I’ve released that to the Lord and I’ve already let Messiah Jesus pay for any damage or wounding toward me I’m not looking for vengeance from you or I’m not looking to make you pay I’ve already dealt with that in my heart preforgiveness I’m coming to build relationship not to get you to apologize I’m coming to build relationship yes I’m looking for you to repent if there’s been true sin and change but I’m not looking to make it right with me I’ve already dealt with that with the Lord preforgiveness is the second thing the third thing in love which means having a greater concern for the other person than you do for yourself so make sure you’re coming with a concern for that person not just to make your point or to get them to repent but come in genuine love and number 4 100% truth what that means is tell them everything don’t leave any… don’t say I’ll just tell them 2 things but there’s really 5 no, unload your gun so to speak don’t leave anything that you haven’t dealt with because you want the relationship reconciled so deal with everything that’s there unload whatever needs to be unloaded 100% so you come in 100% truth the Bible says speak the truth in love so that’s how you do it follow the principles in Matthew 18 go privately first secondly take a witness third tell it to the broader group you know the absolute opposite of doing that is when you gossip instead of going to the person you tell 5 other people and try to get a little band of people on your side if you do that you split a church you split a family you split a business gossip is absolutely one of the most destructive things you can do in any social organization it’s sin against God it’s sin against people many times if you don’t confront what you will do by accident is you’ll start talking to other people about how that person sinned against you instead of doing that go directly to the person that’s how we deal with offenses we need to learn to deal with offenses toward us offenses that we have how do I confront people in love this scripture tells you exactly how to do it if you’ll follow those 4 steps you’ll be mightily blessed so the question today is is there somebody that you need to confront is there someone who has sinned and you’ve just been sweeping it under the rug or hoping it would go away just delaying not doing it I believe the reason we’re talking about this today is because for many of us yes there are people that we haven’t confronted and we need to would you commit before the Lord today to confront anyone in your life and if you’ve gossiped if you’ve told a bunch of other people and not told that person would you repent ask God to forgive you and go to the person that has sinned or offended and confront them directly let’s just pray Father for any of us that have entered into gossip told other people rather than confronting the person directly Father forgive us forgive us we repent today of gossip and Father if you brought someone to my mind that I need to go and confront Father give me boldness to speak the truth in love to come in humility to come in preforgiveness to come in love and to come in 100% truth Father would you give me your grace to be able to do that in the mighty name of Yeshua Amen


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