Proverbs 13:24

Five Reasons to Discipline Your Children

Transcript

Proverbs 13:24 he who withholds his rod hates his son but he who loves him disciplines him diligently we want to talk today about disciplining children and this is just critical to understand and to learn many many people don’t discipline their children and then other people discipline their children too severely, too strongly truth is always like a road and there’s a ditch on either side of the road and one ditch on one side is you never apply any discipline at all to your children never correct them let them do whatever they want that’s highly destructive because children need discipline to set appropriate boundaries to learn where boundaries are to be secure within their own identity the other ditch on the other side of the road is to discipline them too severely to discipline them in anger or to take their identity and their value in an attempt to discipline and God never intended for us to do either one of those things so God intended for us to remain up on the road with wise and righteous discipline discipline that is fair and just but discipline that is also kind and loving it’s always critical to separate identity from behavior when we discipline what does that mean that means that I always want to make sure that I can convey to my son or my daughter I love you and you’re valuable no matter what you do if you do right I love you and I bless you if you do wrong I still love you and I’ll still bless you I’ll bless your identity but there’s correction coming so how does God discipline choices He offers choices or options with consequences so rather than say you do what I want or I’m going to make you feel worthless I’m going to yell at you or scream at you that’s the way discipline occurs many many times this is not God’s discipline I remember one time I learned that lesson when my youngest son Johnny when he was four years old used a very obscene word in sunday school and I was the pastor and when his Sunday school teacher told me that I was so embarrassed anger rose up in me and I wanted to punish Johnny right there on the spot not for his benefit but to show the teacher that I thought this was serious and the Lord really stopped me and said you’re not disciplining him for your benefit you’re disciplining him for pardon me just the opposite you’re not disciplining him for his benefit you’re disciplining him for your benefit and I really realized ohh I need to get out of the ditch where I’m angry and I want to punish him because he made me look bad and get my own identity sorted out first then I can apply appropriate loving kind discipline but correction that honors a child honored my son and I was able to do that and it changed him I mean he didn’t use that obscene word anymore but he understood that it was serious let me give you five things that are critical or five reasons to discipline to apply discipline to a child number 1 willful disobedience you give them a command you tell them what you want them to do and they do exactly the opposite a second thing an improper attitude of pride, selfishness rising up I’m going to do what I want to do that attitude requires discipline a third one is disrespect you know what that really means refusing to honor the authority of a teacher of a parent of a pastor so disrespect not conveying honor or granting that person of authority the right to speak into their lives a fourth good reason for discipline of a child lying not telling the truth a fifth one deliberately hurting or wounding other children and that’s not an exhaustive list but those are five good reasons to apply discipline to a son or daughter again how do we do it we give options with appropriate consequences what happens for violation if you obey this is the consequence if you disobey this is the consequence and we apply that consistently so I encourage you don’t be slack in disciplining your children but don’t dishonor them when you discipline them discipline your son discipline your daughter with age appropriate discipline without anger in your heart with respect and with blessing with honor and you’ll never lose the heart of your children and you’ll set appropriate boundaries they’ll be secure in their own identity there’s a whole lot more on that in various materials that we have written CDs, DVDs, that are available on our website I encourage you to just check out some of the resources and of course lots of other resources around as well so discipline of children is critical let’s just pray Father I pray for each one of us that have children Father that you would give us your wisdom in disciplining them and Father that we would know appropriate discipline perhaps our own fathers and mothers did not discipline us appropriately God would you teach us as father and mothers how to apply appropriate discipline to our children how to do it consistently and diligently I thank you Lord that as we learn to discipline and honor we will bless our children and establish secure, wise young men and women in our own household I pray that for you that you would establish secure, wise young men and women in your household God bless you

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